Governing Values: The Secret to Faster, Clearer, and More Confident Decisions

For something so powerful - so guiding and directional - it’s amazing that governing values don’t figure more prominently in vocational training. We’re taught technical skills, industry standards, and even soft skills like communication, but rarely are we encouraged to step back and ask:

What truly matters to me?

Yet, once you define your governing values, and choose to make them guiding lights at work (and at home) they become the ultimate filter for your decisions, priorities, and direction in life and business.

How Governing Values Shape Your Life and Business

Becoming aware of your governing values isn’t just an intellectual exercise, it’s a hack that speeds up decision-making, removes doubt, and provides an internal compass. Here’s how they help:

• Faster Decision-Making – No more endless weighing of options. When you know your values, the right choice becomes obvious.
• Clarity in Time Management – Your to-do list aligns with what truly matters, and you free up time by chopping away the tasks that don't.
• Stronger Boundaries – Saying ‘no’ becomes easier when you have clear personal and professional standards.
• Authentic Marketing – Your values shape your brand message, attracting clients who align with your approach. Your values can become a pillar of marketing content. 
• Increased Confidence – You stop seeking external approval because you trust your own judgment.
• More Meaningful Goals – You pursue ambitions that align with your purpose, not just what looks good on paper.
• Consistency in Business & Personal Growth – Life and work feel more integrated, with no ‘split’ between who you are and what you do.
• Better Client & Project Selection – You attract people who share your values, leading to smoother collaborations.
• Reduced Stress & Overwhelm – A clear values-based framework simplifies choices, reducing decision-fatigue.
• Stronger Brand Identity – Your values set you apart, giving your business a unique personality.
• Long-Term Fulfilment – You craft a career and lifestyle that feel deeply aligned, rather than chasing surface-level success.

What Exactly Are Governing Values?

Governing values are the deep, core principles that guide your decisions, shape your goals, and determine your priorities. They aren’t the vague, fluffy ideals you find on corporate mission statements, they are the non-negotiables that define how you live, work, and interact with the world.

They might include things like loyalty, creativity, beauty, integrity, security, independence, achievement, generosity, precision, adventure, courage, excellence, curiosity, mastery, or harmony - but they are deeply personal. What drives one person won’t necessarily resonate with another. And that’s the point: governing values give clarity to your unique path. 

Two (and a half) Examples: How I Discovered the Power of Governing Values

EXAMPLE ONE: For years - before I left full-time employment and even during the first couple of years of searching for my next venture - I was frustrated, frustrated to the point of resentment that I could never find time for painting.

I tried everything. I blocked out time for painting in my calendar, only to let it be the first thing sacrificed when work needed more attention. I told myself I’d make space for it at the weekend, but when the time came, I never actually did it. The pattern repeated itself over and over, and the annoyance and self-pity built up alongside it.

Then, when I finally sat down to define my governing values, I had a revelation: sure I'd like to do it, but I have higher priorities and there isn't time for everything. It wasn’t that I lacked discipline, I simply didn’t care enough about it to make it happen, or rather, there were other things I cared about more. And the moment I let it go, the relief was profound. The guilt, the frustration, the feeling that I was ‘failing’ in some way, all of it disappeared. It was like walking away from a toxic relationship. 

A side note here: as I lay out in this lesson in time management, the real power comes in combining a neat list of governing values with the realisation (thank you Oliver Burkeman, author of ‘4,000 Weeks: Time Management For Mortals’) that there isn't time to be every version of yourself, you can’t 'have it all', you will have to choose. Choosing helps reinforce the importance of the selection, it helps embed your values, making it easier and easier to live by them. 

EXAMPLE TWO: Another area where governing values have transformed my life is in personal development and boundaries. Like many interior designers, I have strong people-pleasing tendencies. In the past, I struggled to set boundaries, often feeling wracked with anxiety if I thought I had let someone down by not constantly extending myself. My obligations to the world felt open-ended and undefined, and I carried the (self-imposed) weight of an impossible expectation to be everything to everyone.

Now I know that two of my core governing values are loyalty (which I define as loyalty to my family and close friends), and self-respect. I’ve also taken the time to explore exactly what these mean. I know my version of a good partner, mother, daughter, sister, and friend, and I hold myself to those standards. I choose to believe that I am good enough as long as I do. At the same time, in my work, I’ve learned to be clear about what I can and cannot provide.

The shift has been extraordinary. By setting and meeting the standards that align with my own values, I no longer feel ‘less than’ for failing to meet unrealistic expectations set by others (and by my old self!). The sense of obligation is still there, but now it has clear edges. Instead of stretching myself thin, I show up fully and intentionally for the commitments that truly matter, and I clearly explain why I can’t when there just isn’t enough to go round.

Residential interior designers may be familiar with the scenario above!

AND, HALF AN EXAMPLE: Here’s an observation. My partner and I occasionally disagree. Nothing unusual there, however, it occurred to me recently that the fundamental differences of opinion between us that regularly surface, spring from conflicts in our respective governing values. This doesn’t necessarily help us find common ground, but it can help us understand one another better, and have greater respect and understanding for each other’s points of view.

How to Discover Your Governing Values (A Fun Thought Experiment)

If you haven’t defined your governing values, here’s an exercise to help you get there. This idea comes from Hyrum W. Smith, but with a twist to make it even more powerful:

The Rocking Chair Test

Imagine yourself at 90 years old, sitting in a rocking chair, reflecting on your life. You’re not thinking about individual successes or failures; you’re thinking about the kind of person you were, the way you spent your time, and what truly mattered.

Now, ask yourself:

1. What do you hope people say about you? Both professionally, and in your personal life.
2. What would you be proud to have prioritised? What would feel like a wasted life if you never pursued it?
3. What principles do you wish had guided every major decision?

Write down single words or short phrases that capture your answers. These point you towards your governing values. Are there things that you aren’t doing that you should be doing? Are there things that you are doing that you shouldn’t? That you should let go? 

Making Your Values Actionable

Once you have your list, test it in real life. Allow your values to help prioritise how you spend your time; perhaps you'll be able to claw time back from activities you cut loose, the ones that don't complete you.

The next time you face a tough decision, ask yourself:

• Does this choice align with my values?
• If I ignore these values now, will I regret it later?
• If I act in alignment with my values, how will I feel?

The magic of governing values is that they make life simpler, clearer, and more fulfilling. They help you to stop chasing goals that don’t truly matter and start crafting a life and business that feel deeply right for you.

So, here are my governing values:

Loyalty to family and friends, being a good partner, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend.

Excellence in commerce, building a successful business with integrity that provides security for me into old age.

Enjoyment and creation of beauty in art and design.

Mastery in learning and keeping skills current and at the cutting edge, leading to expertise in my field, and building the... 

Resilience that supports the energetic and consistent performance that leads to personal and business growth over the long-term.

And self-respect, the foundation of self-worth, rooted in honouring one’s own standards and principles without needing external approval.

What are yours? Try the Rocking Chair Test and find out.